Hey friiiieeeeends!!!!! What’s going on??? I’ve missed y’all in a real type of way. I’ve been working super hard on myself and just making things better for my family...we about that clean slate life right about now, ya know? But enough with that, I’m back for now and I’m glad about it 🙌🏽!
So if you know anything about me, you know I’m a HUGE Whitney Houston fan! Her music and voice has had a major impact on me since I was a little girl. I personally can’t think of anyone I have loved more as an artist. One of my favorite songs by her is “How Will I Know”. Y’all know it, I’m sure, but she’s basically questioning how she’ll know if the love she feels is real and if he loves her back. Classic women stuff, right?!
“ Ooh, how will I know (don't trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (love can be deceiving)
How will I know”
Ever been there before? I know I have, more than once, so hear me when I say 🗣I AIN’T JUDGING, SIS!!! But we gon’ talk about this TA’DAY!!!! How do you know if it’s love? In fact, how will you know if it’s a real relationship or not (seems silly, but in 2019 I heard through the grapevine we still struggling)? Let me tell you a couple of metrics I use to determine if he and I are in the same relationship😏 (this is mildly important).
Number one, if the only time ya'll hang out is after the sun goes down, he's smelling like a duck sis. He hangs out with you in secret and chances are he’d rather jump in front of a moving train before letting anyone find out. Why? Because more than likely, his wife or girlfriend (or many girlfriends if the shoe fits) is clueless about you and he’d love to keep it that way. From personal experience, Sis, it probably ain’t real.
Number two, if when y’all hang out you’re just having sex for the hour or two he does manage to share with you he's walking like a duck too. Now, I know this may offend some of my fellow believers, but I refuse to pretend like it's not happening from the pulpit to the pew ("pastors" included), but ya'll can keep on acting if you want. I'm not condoning it, rather acknowledging that it's definitely a real world out here. Anyway, this is what we call a “Situationship”, based solely on the convenience of his situation and not yours with his selfish behind. Relationships are about two individuals together and not just one.
Number three, y’all always in the house or at the hotel ALONE. Nobody even knows about you (matter of fact, most would be completely shocked to find out) and that makes you a secret (I hear a quack in the nearest distance possible). Now, unless you’re ok with this way of life (I’ll admit that I’ve gone for it in the past), cut that man loose. You won’t ever gain the relationship you want so badly or even deserve. My suggestion, gather yourself and your “soul ties” and get your Flo Jo on (RUN, Sis, RUN!). God is waiting right there to walk you through the healing process. My personal testimony is that He never leaves anyway, but that's another post for another day.
Why am I sharing this? Because I‘ve been there and I don’t wanna watch another one of my sisters, young or old, take the “L's“ I’ve taken. If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, you've got a duck on your hands, my dear, and Like Aunt Nippy prophesied, “Don’t trust your feelings”. Use your brain and your intellect, and know the difference between a relationship and well, something that’s non-existent. Anyway, Love ya’ll...'til next time 😘. Oh, and feel free to share your thoughts with us. We're here for it!
Signed with LOVE,
Candace M., CEO of The Comma Life LLC